Calendars 

Hi hi hi. It’s been a while. Glad I could stop by. But let me not begin my long stories, instead I’ll just fire away to what I’m here to write about.

Calendars.

Our calendars are different. We all have different calendars. It’s what Continue reading “Calendars “

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In A World Where Bad Things Happen

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Last week, I stumbled on a sad news on Instagram…I was actually checking out for something else when I saw a photo of her appear before my eyes and below it was a caption of what had happened to her. I’d never known this girl before, I’d never read any of her books before, but the news of her death hurt my heart so bad…it Continue reading “In A World Where Bad Things Happen”

He Keeps No Record Of Wrongs :)

He keeps no record

“Still later He appeared to the eleven disciples as they were eating together and walked up to Peter and said ‘I told you you’d deny me three times before the rooster crows twice, Didn’t I? And see! You did exactly that! Even after you beat your chest and told me you could never deny me…you told me that: even if it meant dying with me, you would rather die than deny me; but still you denied me – I told you, Of course I knew it! You couldn’t even look that young maid in the face and say “Yes, I know Jesus of Nazareth. I’m His follower.” instead you cursed and swore that you did not know a thing about me. You swore that you had never even seen me before…Simon! Simon! Well I won’t say I’m quite disappointed, because I already knew it was going to happen.’  Then Jesus shook His head at Peter and turned to the other ten.”

But that wasn’t the way it happened.

That wasn’t the way it was recorded in Mark 16: 14 (TLB). It was recorded in Mark that: While the disciples were eating together, Jesus appeared to all of them and rebuked them for their unbelief (He rebuked them because of the fact that they stubbornly refused to believe those who had told them that He was alive again). So, Yes that was what the Bible recorded and not what you first read above. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall reading a single verse where Jesus, after He had risen and appeared to the disciples reminded Peter of the fact that he denied Him thrice. He didn’t even bring the matter up again. He never did. Or did He? Um…well, not in my own Bible. And guess what? Not even in yours.

So Love keeps no record of wrongs, and that’s why He keeps no record of any wrong whatsoever; because He is LOVE.

My Jesus is Real Love.

Look, I don’t know how Peter felt when he saw Jesus for the first time after the last time he saw Him. I don’t know what was going on in Peter’s head when he saw the Jesus he denied appear before him and the other disciples. Did his heart skip a beat or two? Or was his heart was at perfect ease? Did he put His head down and pretend to play with His finger nails? Was he looking at the ceiling the whole time so that his gaze wasn’t going to meet Jesus’? Or did he keep his head up and look straight into the loving eyes of his Saviour? Really I don’t know, and I can only imagine; but this one thing I am sure of: However Peter felt at that moment, whether good or awkward, comfortable or uncomfortable; Jesus never wanted him to feel anything less than the friend and brother he had always been. Jesus loved Peter so much, regardless of the fact that he denied Him.

Yep, I know we are all growing. But let’s choose to learn daily from these examples that we see in the life of Jesus. Let’s learn to form our character from them. I love the way the Holy Spirit can just inspire us from these simple stories (Truths) in God’s word. God is amazing and simple. And He teaches us big things even from the little things.

I hope you get to learn what I learnt from this. I learnt that: Not keeping record of my brother’s wrongs or sister’s wrongs won’t kill me; but instead it will help me become more like Jesus; and of course I can’t do this in my own strength especially when I feel really hurt and all I want to do is be angry and mad, when my flesh gives me every reason to be hurt again and tells me: ‘oh yeah, you’ve got the chance now to remind her of what she did to you 3months ago.You’ve got the chance now to point your finger at him and condemn him.’

So of a truth: I can’t do it on my own; but I can ask for the grace to calm down and keep my mouth shut. I can ask the Holy Spirit (Who lives inside of me) to help me and to strengthen my love-walk toward that person or those people.

I also learnt that: God never wants me to feel anything less than His princess and daughter regardless of whatever I’d done before. He loves me, He wants me to grow intentionally and He keeps no record of my wrongs. Yes, He keeps no record of your wrongs.

I Forgive Myself, I Move On.

I move on

(Originally written on June 11th, 2015)

Today, I was amazed at how I felt when I said to myself ‘Yeah Jaachi, you shouldn’t have done that; but I forgive you’. This will be the first time in my life that I’ll ever say these words out loud to myself. On every other day before today, I just deliberately ignore whatever it is I had done and consciously forget about it – but today, I said to myself  out loud ‘I forgive you’.

Many times, we beat ourselves up over stuff we cannot change. We become too sad because we feel like we have disappointed ourselves by doing some things we ought not to have done – This is wrong. True, repentance is good and healthy. And in fact it is very necessary; but please never mistake regret for repentance. Regret is something way different; it is unhealthy and pointless and just isn’t right…it wears you out. It births worry, it births guilt, it births self-hate, it may give you a feeling of constant disappointment in yourself, and worst…it births a low self-esteem…and you see, neither of the above mentioned is God’s will for you – or for us.

In living, I have learnt that life is beautiful, and other days funny, and other days boring, and other days magic, and sometimes…just plain disappionting. I’ve learnt that moving on is a way better thing to do than staying or sleeping on some wrong that I have done in the past or whatever. I’ve learnt that happiness is a choice; and so is unhappiness – in fact, almost everything in life is a choice. And so every day – as much as you can, do choose to be happy. Do choose to forgive yourself. Do choose to move on.

I hope you know that happiness will NOT just jump on you; like I said earlier: it is a choice. Choose to remember that you have all that you need. You have a Father on whose Love you can bank on and trust in 24hours a day, 7 days a week…and that is all that matters, really.

I strongly believe that the words ‘I forgive you’ aren’t only meant to be told to people who have hurt us, or whatever. Some days, we also have to say these words to ourselves – call out our own names, and tell ourselves ‘I forgive you’. ‘That was a really stupid thing you did but, I forgive you’. ‘You know you should have done it better but, I forgive you’. Every day, we grow. And every day, we learn. And as the days go by, we find and learn more about who God is turning us to be. And in some of our learning processes, we may do really stupid things, and sometimes may get disappointed in ourselves because we know we should have done it better, or said it better; but c’mon – life goes on!

This post of course is not something I’m writing to give us an excuse (or encourage us) to keep making silly mistakes, or to keep repeating the same wrong thing over and over. No. Instead, it’s something I’m writing to help us understand that we all are growing (in Christ) daily into Maturity (Eph 4: 13)…and I don’t know how long this growth is going to take; but I know that we all are turning into something really beautiful; there may be falls and trips and slips and scars and what have you; but remember that these all make us stronger and wiser and braver.

We must learn to be happy people, we must choose to want to grow, and learn to see ourselves through God’s eyes. We must learn to make peace with ourselves and we must learn to forgive ourselves, since we all already, have been forgiven by God.

Sometimes, the big question you should be asking yourself really isn’t: ‘Has God forgiven me?’ – Because He already has. If you are a believer, then you have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus and you have been forgiven (Read your Bible, it is all there, or if you need scriptural references, well here are some: 1 John 1: 9, Eph 2, Hebrews 10: 16 – 17.)

Maybe the big question for you is: ‘Have you forgiven yourself? Have you moved on? Have you let go? Do you trust this beautiful, magnanimous God to help you be exactly all that He made you to be even though you know you are not perfect? Are you disappointed in yourself because you haven’t got it all figured out?’

Whatever your answers to the above questions may be; I need you to understand that God wants you to leave the ‘I cannot forgive myself’ zone. He wants you to forgive yourself right here and right now. He wants you to move on…because trust me; you do not want to spend your whole life sitting there, whining over that one mistake. You do not have all the time in the world; so it’s wiser you get up quickly from that spot and…get…on…with…your…life, darling

Not Tonight!

we are not

This is what you do at 12:11 am when you don’t know what to do…not because you are jobless; but because you just want to write your heart out at this time of the night when everyone else is sleeping and you can’t seem to.

Life is beautiful. And sometimes not too pretty. And sometimes magic. And sometimes plain crazy. Don’t judge me; I’m only speaking from my experiences…maybe it’s a different definition for you – I don’t know. I’ve learnt that this is life and it is real. I’ve learnt that good things happen; as well as hurtful things. I’ve learnt that God is good no matter what.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m really afraid because I’m not so sure what’s next. I’m at a point where I feel like I’m standing but at the same time floating. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t get afraid. I do.

Afraid of being wrong in making my decisions; because I just want to do the right things.

Afraid because the things I thought would be actually aren’t as I thought they’d be.

Afraid because I am human and let’s not pretend…we all get afraid…right? Well I do.

Afraid…

Afraid…

Afraid…

“Jaachi, you have every reason to cry”… “jaachi, be strong; and laugh at life”…it’s like a war in my tiny head. My thoughts are waging war…so what will it be? “To cry or not to cry? To keep keeping on or to give up? To laugh at life and trust God or to just shrug and say ‘whatever will be will be’?

But life is too small to make me ever doubt God’s Love for me. Come rain or Sunshine. Come good or bad. Oh let the boat rock terribly; let the storms rise; let the winds blow…let it even knock things off; I’ll still laugh. Even if the skies snow down rocks…Yes, I’ll still laugh. Yes, I’ll still pray. Yes, I’ll still Trust. Yes, I’ll still hope. And yes, I’ll still believe.

I’ll still laugh even though I’m afraid. I’ll laugh afraid!

Who says that it isn’t okay to cry? It’s okay to cry…and do I cry? Well ya, a lot! But not tonight; just not tonight. I won’t cry tonight neither will I complain. I’ll do just as I once heard a very wise person say: ‘Don’t complain, instead turn your wants to supplications’. I’ll turn these hurts to supplications. I’ll thank God every day. I’ll dare to Trust – because I have to…He is the only Person I hang my life on.

So hey, we won’t cry tonight. Maybe some other night; but not tonight! You know what we’re gon do? We’ll turn those hurts to supplications, and we’ll be thankful to the Father, and to Jesus, and to the Holy Spirit.

Life is beautiful. And crazy. And magic. And ‘not too pretty’. But life is too small to make me think that my God is not too Big!

So I’ll end this with one of my favourite song-lyrics in the whole world.

“…And my soul will know

Your Love surrounds me when my thoughts wage war

When night screams terror, there Your voice will roar

Come death or shadow, God I know Your light will meet me there

And my soul will know

When fear comes knocking there You’ll be my guide

When day breeds trouble, there you’ll hold my heart

Come storm or battle, God I know Your peace will meet me there

Oh, be still my heart

My soul will ever know that you are God…”

(HIllsong United – Prince of peace)

LET HIM DRIVE!!!

the keys

I’m so grateful that I can finally write this – it’s been in my heart for a while now.

Okay, let’s go…

John 14 : 16 – 17a (TLB paraphrased)

“and I will ask the Father, and He will give you another comforter, and he will NEVER LEAVE YOU>>>(a promise). He is the Holy spirit, the Spirit who leads into all truth.”

(Eph 1 : 13) Every believer has got the Holy spirit, “the ultimate helper” in him…Right? Right. But the big question is: Why then do we get so frustrated sometimes. Why do we struggle so much???

I’ll tell you why… The reason we get so frustrated, angry, stressed and tired sometimes is because we try to do things on our own. We dump the ALL KNOWING Holy spirit in the back seat, and then choose to drive the car ourselves. We dump the manufacturer of the car in the back seat and say to him…”well I know best how to handle this car more than you do”…foolish huh?

JUST A SHORT STORY:

Some weeks ago, my Dad was searching for a bunch of keys. Actually, the keys were with me the night before; but I remembered giving them back to him.

“Are you sure you gave me those keys? I don’t remember collecting them.” he said.

Fully certain, I answered  “I did, I gave them to you last night. ”

My dad, still doubted I gave him the keys; but went to search for the bunch anyway. While he did that, I went to the kitchen to get a few things done; and while I was there, I was thinking of the possible places to where the bunch of keys might be…”bedroom?”, “living room?”, “the study?”, “on the couch?”…where?. I stopped! and then decided not to stress myself by thinking, and just then I said something. I said, “Dear Holy spirit, I’m not going to stress myself looking for some bunch of keys, because I know I’ll just get tired, frustrated and possibly not even find the keys at all. Please just help me…let’s look for these keys together.”…and believe me, right there, after I said that; I just knew where the bunch of keys was, I knew where my dad had dropped it, I JUST KNEW! It was on the bookshelf, in the study, my dad had dropped it there the night before, it wasn’t like I saw him drop it there or something; but I knew! I just knew!… and how did I know, you may ask. Well, the answer is simple! I asked the Holy spirit to help me.

So, anyway; without doubt, I walked straight to the study…on my way there, I saw my Dad; and he said he had checked everywhere (including the study) but did not see the keys; I nodded and walked to the study anyway; and as I opened the door… :P, I saw the keys, right there on the bookshelf, just as I thought! or should I say, just as I knew!… I went on and handed the keys to my dad.

“I found them in the study” I told him.

“Really? but I checked there” he replied…

…this is just a little example of how much help the Holy spirit can be to us – if we let him.” If I had checked for those keys myself, I wouldn’t have seen them until…God knows how long, and I’d have been stressed, frustrated and even angry looking for the bunch”. Hey,  The bible says the holy spirit will lead us into all truth; and I believe that He can help us in and with everything, every problem, every trouble…He can and will help us; but, we’ve got to hand Him the car keys, we’ve got to learn to trust him at all times, we’ve got to learn to communicate with Him; because, He knows all things, and He has…or should I say, He IS the solution to our every troubles. When we involve the Holy spirit in our everyday activities, we’ll be so glad we did. So, before you take that step of “wanting to do it on your own”, just pause and say “sweet Holy spirit, take the car keys, take the lead, guide me.”

Is it handling your job, or handling your kids? Is it handling your relationship? Is it your fears or your needs? Is it asking that girl out, or knowing if that’s the right guy for you? Is it your unfulfilled dreams, your hopes? Is it how to give that speech, or how to write that book, or how to start up your own business?…? WHATEVER it is, the holy spirit can help you and He will; because that’s who He is: “our helper, our teacher, our guide.”. We’ve pushed Him so much to the back and depended on our struggles for too long. It’s time to let him take the lead. Hand him those car keys, Let Him drive… choose not to be confused anymore. Make up your mind not to be confused anymore. Say this today, “I know what to do, I know what to say, I know where to go, I know the right people to meet; because I’ve got the Holy spirit on my inside, I CANNOT BE CONFUSED.”

 

 

BUT…THE NEW YEAR DOESN’T MAKE YOU NEW.

Take a look at this:

On the 31st of December 2013.

Man: Okay, I’ll just watch porn this last time and from tomorrow I’ll never try it again. I want to never watch porn in the year 2014, that’s my new year’s resolution, I wanna be a whole new person in 2014. Amen.

We’ve done something similar right? Even if it wasn’t porn. Maybe stealing, getting too angry, lying, eating too much or some other thing…

Hmmm…

Like everyone, I’ve made so many new-year resolutions, telling myself “Okay, from today January 1, I won’t do this or do that” and like everyone, I’ve never kept to any of these resolutions. I’d always find myself after few months, doing the same thing I said I wouldn’t do. Or sometimes, I’d find myself doing those same things on just the second day of the year. (haha!)

This has taught me a lot of things. It has taught me that We can’t do anything in our own strength. We can’t just assume we’ll stop the wrong things we do by our own power. Nah, it doesn’t work that way. It’s also taught me that THE NEW YEAR DOESN’T CHANGE US OR MAKE US NEW. If I had issues with anger on the 31st of December and desired not to change genuinely, I will still have issues with anger on the 1st day of January. Nothing changes. If I was a terrible thief and liar on the last day of December, I’d still have that itchy feeling to want to steal and lie even on the first day of the next year. Period.

The new year cannot make us new. The new year has never made anyone new; but God has, and God can. So instead of trusting “your strength”, trust God. Don’t wait until it’s a new year before you think of changing your ways. CHANGE THEM NOW! Don’t rely on “you”. Rely on God and trust his plans for you and for the year ahead. And if you’ve got to change your ways, change them genuinely. See, God isn’t looking at the calender; It doesn’t matter to Him if it’s the beginning or middle or end of the year. If a man is really willing to change and to trust God, God is ready to receive and to help him.

So, my darling…I’ll leave you with this: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3 : 5-6

Something really ShOrT.

You’re beautiful in every way and no human being defines you, God does. God wants you to see that it doesn’t matter what they say, he’s got you. Life could be really annoying sometimes (like, heck yeah) but even in the most annoying situations, you can have REAL joy – with God.
So, don’t be all sad because someone said ”you’re this” or ”you’re that”. As a matter of fact, if God doesn’t say that about you, then you’re not it.
So SMILE ’cause, you ROCK!