Not Tonight!

we are not

This is what you do at 12:11 am when you don’t know what to do…not because you are jobless; but because you just want to write your heart out at this time of the night when everyone else is sleeping and you can’t seem to.

Life is beautiful. And sometimes not too pretty. And sometimes magic. And sometimes plain crazy. Don’t judge me; I’m only speaking from my experiences…maybe it’s a different definition for you – I don’t know. I’ve learnt that this is life and it is real. I’ve learnt that good things happen; as well as hurtful things. I’ve learnt that God is good no matter what.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m really afraid because I’m not so sure what’s next. I’m at a point where I feel like I’m standing but at the same time floating. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t get afraid. I do.

Afraid of being wrong in making my decisions; because I just want to do the right things.

Afraid because the things I thought would be actually aren’t as I thought they’d be.

Afraid because I am human and let’s not pretend…we all get afraid…right? Well I do.

Afraid…

Afraid…

Afraid…

“Jaachi, you have every reason to cry”… “jaachi, be strong; and laugh at life”…it’s like a war in my tiny head. My thoughts are waging war…so what will it be? “To cry or not to cry? To keep keeping on or to give up? To laugh at life and trust God or to just shrug and say ‘whatever will be will be’?

But life is too small to make me ever doubt God’s Love for me. Come rain or Sunshine. Come good or bad. Oh let the boat rock terribly; let the storms rise; let the winds blow…let it even knock things off; I’ll still laugh. Even if the skies snow down rocks…Yes, I’ll still laugh. Yes, I’ll still pray. Yes, I’ll still Trust. Yes, I’ll still hope. And yes, I’ll still believe.

I’ll still laugh even though I’m afraid. I’ll laugh afraid!

Who says that it isn’t okay to cry? It’s okay to cry…and do I cry? Well ya, a lot! But not tonight; just not tonight. I won’t cry tonight neither will I complain. I’ll do just as I once heard a very wise person say: ‘Don’t complain, instead turn your wants to supplications’. I’ll turn these hurts to supplications. I’ll thank God every day. I’ll dare to Trust – because I have to…He is the only Person I hang my life on.

So hey, we won’t cry tonight. Maybe some other night; but not tonight! You know what we’re gon do? We’ll turn those hurts to supplications, and we’ll be thankful to the Father, and to Jesus, and to the Holy Spirit.

Life is beautiful. And crazy. And magic. And ‘not too pretty’. But life is too small to make me think that my God is not too Big!

So I’ll end this with one of my favourite song-lyrics in the whole world.

“…And my soul will know

Your Love surrounds me when my thoughts wage war

When night screams terror, there Your voice will roar

Come death or shadow, God I know Your light will meet me there

And my soul will know

When fear comes knocking there You’ll be my guide

When day breeds trouble, there you’ll hold my heart

Come storm or battle, God I know Your peace will meet me there

Oh, be still my heart

My soul will ever know that you are God…”

(HIllsong United – Prince of peace)

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guest post: BEAUTY FOR ASHES

Revolveblog guest post

Ashes are ugly, they are gritty and displeasing to the eyes
Ashes are remnants of what used to be
Ashes are the result of something being burnt
Ashes are the result of something that has gone through the ringer

Ashes represent grief
Ashes represent humiliation
Ashes represent worthlessness

We’ve all been through situations and circumstances that have resulted in ashes
We’ve been hurt, disappointed and discouraged because of these ashes
When the thought of that situation revisits our minds, our hearts begins to ache, it’s a thorn in our flesh
Any resemblance of that experience and the person(s) involved in it automatically makes us defensive
We’re stuck, unable to move forward…we relive the moment over and over again

You may even be experiencing that “ash” moment as you read this
It’s a fresh wounded, the pain is continuously oozing out
The amount of tears that you’ve cried over this issue can’t be numbered

It may be a broken relationship, a failure, a loss, a career disappointment, an academic issue, a family issue, etc.

Today I have come to deliver good news to you. No matter how bad and ugly the situation is or has been, it will work for your good (Romans 8:28). God is turning it all around (Psalm 126:1); it’s not your final destination it is a temporary stop over. Look onto your father, trust him to heal and restore you. He is the one that has the ability to make all things beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

It’s a beautiful exchange, he gives beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Stop holding on to the ashes, let it go! Make room for beauty, that is what God has prepared for you. Let it go, forgive that person, forget that disappointment. God is set to do a new thing (Isaiah 43:19)

Trade your ashes for God’s beauty today, it will be worth your while.

He has great things in store for you. When he turns it all around you will marvel at how it turns out. He will exceed your expectations; it will feel like you are dreaming.

So what do you say? Are you ready for the beautiful exchange?

ABOUT BUNMI ADEBIYI

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Pastor Bunmi

Bunmi Adebiyi is a pastor at God’s Love Tabernacle International Church. She has a calling to young women, with the mandate to empower them into becoming well rounded women within their societies by fulfilling purpose and honoring God with their bodies (she will be officially launching her personal ministry soon).  Bunmi is the owner and CEO of BeDazzling a company whose vision is to redefine fashion by making modesty the new “sexy”; it specializes in men and women jewelry, clothing, and accessories. 

Bunmi is also a Public Health professional by training and a writer, she specializes in poetry and Christian non-fiction.

Bunmi was born in Houston, TX and raised in Brooklyn, NY. She is the first of four children. Bunmi has a Bachelor’s degree in Health Sciences from Howard University and a Master’s degree in Public Health from Morgan State University. After graduation from Morgan State University, the Lord laid it on her heart to move to Nigeria. It was one of the toughest decisions that she ever had to make that turned out to be one of the best decisions of her life.

Bunmi is married to Tunde who is also a Pastor at God’s Love Tabernacle International Church and a Medical Doctor by profession. They have a beautiful daughter named Toluwani Eden.

Together they are on a mission to take the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the Earth and to enjoy life abundantly while doing it.